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Tuesday, 28 August 2007
OK, I wanted to write something sweet about Rowan's birthday today. Like how touching it was to see her lovingly hug our neighbour's trees ('Big Tree', 'Little Tree' and 'Teeny Tiny Tree') on our evening walk or her reaction to the idea that she cried when she was born and was given her first bath ('probably take shower, not cry', she informed me, referring to 'big girl Rowan').

But I am filled with recollections instead of her yelling 'No mom!' when I tried to sing her Happy Birthday this morning.

Or how enraptured she was with the phrase 'poop flies' on a farm tour with our playgroup.

Or how when she told me I was not her mother but the dog's mother (being silly) I said (a little too loudly) 'Well I guess that makes me a b__ch'~ and of course, what word did she glom onto? She crowed 'Mommy Briar(the dog) B*tch' for about 10 minutes. I am glad my husband wasn't home!

Or how after her shower when I said "Happy Birthday Baby' she heard (or chose to hear) 'A Pee Birthday Baby' which was, admittedly, downright hysterical, especially if you are newly two! And so everyone (mom, dad, dog, puppy lovey etc.) was wished a delighted 'Pee Birthday'.

But then she snuggled into my arms and while I stroked her hair and face, as I have since the night she was born, to help her sleep~ she reached out and did the same to my face. Then she held my chin and said 'look at me' ~ that is the closest she has come to truly saying 'I love you'. How so? I ask her to look at me, and then I say it, for a few months when I have said 'look at me' she has parroted, 'I love you!' but tonight she initiated it.

And I remembered, bodily, completely, the night she was born, how they rushed her over to check her out after some complications and I felt... hungry, a bone deep, ravenous urge to touch, to smell, to see my baby girl and have her in my arms where she belonged. Where she belongs.

A pee birthday baby.


Cara said...

That is so sweet! Happy Birthday Rowan. I love how you write about her, I just want to give her a big hug too! :)

I could really relate to this part, "hungry, a bone deep, ravenous urge to touch, to smell, to see my baby girl and have her in my arms where she belonged. Where she belongs."


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