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Saturday, 26 February 2011
Letting go is never easy.
Yet our lives are a series of changes, every one of which is an ending that must precede a new beginning.
Sometimes we have let go without knowing it~ I think of growing up, of moving away from home, where our focus is forward and we give little thought to those left behind.

And sometimes, especially when we are those left behind (which we become when we become parents), the letting go is bittersweet.

My daughter will be 5 and 1/2 (that all important 1/2!) on Monday.  And after five (and 1/2) years of close attachment and building bonds, I am conscientiously having to let go a little more, a little more often.  Starting school was a big change for me, and a rough one, sending my baby girl onto the bus and off to school at age 4. But that was an expected milestone/ change.

It is the little unexpected ones that snag my heart. 
The things no one ever told you would be significant milestones.
Not riding in the shopping cart.
Getting in and out of the van by herself.
Stirring a pot on the stove.
Walking beside me, but not holding hands, as we cross the street here in town.
Holding a phone conversation on her own.
Going into a store on her own to make a purchase (small town/ small businesses, gotta love 'em!).
Asking to read a book on her own, because she can.

Such small steps but each one a step into her own (amazing) person.
A person who is self sufficient and independent and sure of her own abilities.
Exactly what we work towards our children becoming... but it isn't easy letting go!
And it may sound naive, but I always thought of  letting go of my child as she goes off to university at age 18~ I really wasn't prepared for our lives together to be a ongoing series of steps away from me, or better put, towards herself.

And I love that beautiful self she is becoming.
But I reserve the mommy right to be a little sad, even as I delight in her growing up, even as I continue to learn the oh-so-human art of letting go gracefully. ♥


Kristy said...

Very beautifully said and equally understood.

HOEPZIKA ! said...

Beautifully said, thank you!

PamlicoBee said...

It never gets any easier even when they are grown and gone. I still miss mine and my heart still feels as yours feels now.

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